“Domestic violence is a prevalent and complex social problem”
Christina Angela Jeter
University of Phoenix
When looking for a mate, please take in these factors. Why do you want to be in a relationship? How is the relationship you have with yourself? If you have a person in mind that you like to date and get to know on an intimate level, please make sure of the following:
1) What do you have to benefit each other beside physical attraction?
Looks aren’t everything; often to many times we rely on what you look like to advocate who you are as a person. You can’t trust a smile or beauty, as it can hide the ugliness of an individual. Kindness is used to wean a victim of domestic violence to tolerate the behavior. For example, “You made me act out of character” is the retaliation the majority of abuser perpetuates. We fortunately live in a society were differences of opinion are handled verbally not physically.
2) How does the person handle difference of opinion?
Note: It is the attackers’ job to shame the victim. Pay very close attention to how an individual handles adversity. What you are willing to tolerate, you ultimately become a victim of! No matter how small never overlook the ethics of a person’s work habits, the logic of that person’s demeanor and don’t get fooled by social standing, just because a person is a part of an organization, doesn’t mean they represent what the establishment stands for.
3) When you are ready to say, I do! Make sure you can validate why and with whom you are choosing.
You are entering an agreement and need to secure and validate the deal. So get tested TOGETHER and background checks TOGETHER. If that person seems to get irritated by that proposal, then guess what, they are not being truthful with you. Once that marriage license is signed, then whatever they have done is like you have committed the crime, even if you had no say or knowledge of it. Your number one priority should always be yourself.
These three methods of eliminating domestic violence come from my own personal experiences with it. When I was younger, my atmosphere was that the man was superior to the woman. As a child, I never argued that position, until I grew into becoming a woman and realized he was abusing his position with it.
The patron that studies the law isn’t always applying it for justice. For too long I have watched men deem woman sluts and whores because those ladies take right of not tolerating their injustice and those sluts and whores tolerating that injustice deeming themselves ladies and gentleman.
If you look at history, it wasn’t too long ago and we must continue to fight for equality in so many different ways, one being with the respect of boundaries. Men are not superior to woman, they are their equal, for GOD create woman because man was lonely, not the other way around.
Grateful to live in a society with such freedom my ancestors of every lifestyle, culture and race fought for, I come to realize that hate doesn’t die it evolves.
I live by example so that it becomes organic nature for this and future generations to be kind and understanding, everyone’s personal and characteristics are different, that is why you are getting to know one another, if they have an attribute that doesn’t sit well with you then you should question the behavior to achieve an acknowledgment of it, instead of shaming them for it.
Never use your body size to intimate and bombard a person to force them to except your insecurities.
Shouting may get your point heard, but it still will never be listened to. If you feel the need to hit, know I will have the RIGHT to defend.
You shouldn’t use insincere acts of kindness to gain the trust of a woman to sleep with you, and then push her away once she believes your speech.
If you feel the need to shame the woman in the adult industry shame the men who help them live up to the reputation, as well.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” So don’t insult those who don’t live up to your expectation.
In closing soldiers are not just the troopers of the Unites States Government, but the civilians who work hard to protect their children, love ones and innocent from going through the same injustice that the law didn’t protect them from.
Essay submitted for the Charles R. Ullman & Associates scholarship competition, 2013, www.divorcelawnc.com